What has this got to do with me?
I don’t know about you, but the Black Lives Matter protests and my white privilege have been occupying my thoughts a lot in the last few weeks. I’ve been reading blogs, listening to podcasts, ordering books for me and the children and trying to marshall my thoughts and work out where I can take action in my daily life in the very white bubble I live in.
I’m thinking about the language I use, the business development and marketing I do, the people in my life, and the ways in which i could be more active. I’m thinking about the diversity of my social media news feed and the books, articles and news I consume. Even down to the meditations I listen to.
My mum was in the march in Washington in 1968 with Martin Luther King. She ensured Maya Angelou, Tony Morrison and Alice Walker were compulsory reading when I was in my teens. We boycotted South African produce during apartheid, it was common dinner table discussion, and we knew the stories of Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks and the horrors of slavery and segregation.
I still don’t get slavery. I really really don’t. I feel shame for the acceptance of slavery in the past. That it can have been an actual above board trade in human lives makes my blood boil. Cities like Bristol and Liverpool are built on the bones and blood of slaves and the money of the slave trade. Our government was paying back the debt they took on to reimburse slave owners for freeing them until 2015!
But I get how you can be a bit blind to what doesn’t affect you.
My white skin is like a shield.
I’ve travelled all over the world. I’ve lived in other countries. I’ve been stared at in the street as the only white face, but I’ve never felt threatened by the colour of my skin. In fact, I’ve probably felt protected by it in many ways. My skin and my passport have opened doors. Doors I didn’t even know were there or could be closed.
Yes, I have other layers of privilege too, my education, my family, my access to employment and to credit. I am grateful for and appreciate all of those things.
But I am not sure I appreciate how closely linked that is to the colour of my skin.
I don’t see racism in my everyday life.
Because I am white.
I didn’t see it when I lived in London in a far more multicultural and diverse community than I do now.
But it’s there.
As I read and listen to stories, I am visited by deep shame.
For not noticing.
For ignoring and allowing casual racist comments in casual conversation, even though I disagreed. Or maybe not even noticing them.
For not challenging. For not standing up and protesting. For not reading and understanding more. For social media feeds that are not as diverse as they could be.
For feeling like I don’t know enough to make a difference.
I spoke to the children about the protests in the US this week. My daughter was outraged. ‘But what about Rosa Parks?’ she asked. She thought it should be all over by now. We are continuing our conversations and finding resources.
What hasn’t worked? Why is it still happening? In the US and here, at home.
Why do more black women die in childbirth?
Why are more black men stopped and searched? Why are they more likely to be considered a ‘suspect’ in any crime nearby.
Why do black children have to be warned how to respond to the police in order to prevent brutality?
Why are more people of colour more likely to die from Covid-19.
I feel like my vocabulary is lacking.
When I hear people say ‘all lives matter’, I don’t have an elegant answer on how yes of course all lives matter but black lives need protecting because the system is rigged against them.
When I hear people compare their own struggles with those of the black population, I don’t have the vocabulary to argue convincingly that actually, their experience is often the exception not the rule in many cases. Because I don’t want to diminish their pain (and I’m still not sure I’ve got that last sentence right.
So I am watching, reading, listening and expanding my vocabulary. I wasn’t marching but I am with the marchers in spirit.
Here are some great resources I’ve found:
Renni Eddo-Lodge http://renieddolodge.co.uk/ for blog, podcast and her book ‘Why I no longer talk to White People about Race’. I found this episode particularly helpful to answer the ‘what can I do’ question. https://www.aboutracepodcast.com/9-the-big-question
Layla Saad - http://laylafsaad.com/ for her podcast, blog and book ‘White Supremacy’. Not yet read it but have heard great things.
Unpacking the Knapsack of White Privilege, Peggy Mackintosh - this is an old essay but I found it helpful to understand white privilege (and as it relates to male privilege) http://convention.myacpa.org/houston2018/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/UnpackingTheKnapsack.pdf
Brene Brown’s interview with Ibram X Kendi on his book ‘How to be anti racist’ https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-ibram-x-kendi-on-how-to-be-an-antiracist/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=LinkedIn&utm_campaign=bb_unlocking-us
Ibram X. Kendi’s books are all on my reading list. https://www.ibramxkendi.com/
I’m also working my way through the resources on this list (goes to a google doc)
There’s more. There’s SO much more. Got to start somewhere though. Somewhere away from mainstream media.
What action can I take?
Lockdown has affected my income hugely so my capacity to donate is low.
But there’s so much more we can all do.
I’m looking at projects I can support. Ways I can lend my voice or my time. Campaigns I can get behind. Petitions to sign.
And at how I run my business, who I serve and who is in my community. Not to leave anyone behind, but to be more inclusive. And to take an active part in conversations on systemic racism, overt racism, white privilege and and offline, to ask questions and go in search of answers.
Why should i bother?
I see my place in the world, my purpose, my compassion, my ability to effect change as an important part of my holistic wellbeing.
I have been filling some holes I didn’t even know needed filling. And that is part of keeping me well, healthy and a citizen who contributes positively to the world around me.
Photo by Maria Oswalt on Unsplash